Don’t mess with a Packer chick!
Special to Packerland Titletown USA
Yes, I’m one of “Those people”. You know, wears lots of green and gold, decorates in green and gold, names pets after the green and gold, get the picture? Well, my obsession all began at a awfully early age in Pewaukee, Wisconsin, thanks to my wonderful father, Ron Stein, may he rest in peace.
My talented rescue Australian shepherd border collie, Laambeaux, delights in showing off her custom made green and gold harness as she sprints to the finish line of the Barkie Birkie, sporting a Packer bandana with her green-and-gold-clad owner in tow.
Favre’s the feline with silky long white and grey fur. Bright green and gold eyes along with his spunky personality and love of consuming Kleenex make him even more adorable when he is dressed up in various Packer outfits.
Last but not least, is A.J., not really named after A.J. Hawk, but I often let people think that. He’s my sweet nose-tackle-sized kitty.
Some dream of a Lamborghini, others of a Porsche; my fantasy car was a Packer Green Honda CRV, of the 1999 version. My hunt led me to Arizona in 2011 where I finally located the perfect Packer vehicle, now decked out in Green Bay paraphernalia. If only I could track down a green and gold tire cover that fit!
Bedrooms need a theme right? One is the Badger and the other the Green Bay Packer room! Within that room are four drawers filled with a plethora of Green and Gold attire. I just have to change out my summer and winter wardrobe each year.
Diehard Packer fans that live in neighboring states such as Minnesota, often face “challenges” with locals. Prior to moving to Minnesota, I frankly had never heard of the Viqueens, only da Bears! Apparently those handful of genuine Queenie “fans” get a tad hostile at times.
Being in charge of the daily digital announcements at a school entitles me to put whatever I want up on the screen for all to see right? Tiling Brett Favre’s face, the scores of Packer games and highlight pictures, that’s all legal isn’t it? String cheese affixed to my office door was all they could come up with in protest; thanks for the great Wisconsin treat guys, we do like cheese!
Forced to go to Mankato for a college orientation during the Queenie’s training camp made for quite the modeling opportunity! Donned in various Green and Gold outfits, I strode proudly around the town for a few days, frequently hearing things like, “Wow, you are brave!”
While working at St. Joe’s Home for Children in Minneapolis, Viking players arrived in droves to “impress” the adolescent ones with their Cadillac Escalades sporting those fancy shiny whirling hubcaps. Mike Tice, head coach at the time, looked up and down at the pretty prominent Packer outfit I had on from head to toe and simply said, “That’s rude.”
Joe Schmidt’s celebrity golf tournament attracted numerous famous football folk. One of the Queenie coaches, whose name will be omitted because he is married, ferociously flirted with me apparently attempting to impress by stating he was a coach for the Vikings. My response was, “so what, I’m a Packer Fan”, to which he responded, “everyone is entitled to their own opinions.”
His inappropriate comment of, “when do I get to see those big brown eyes again,” made me think, “Hmmmm… how could I ‘use’ this man who thinks he is impressive, to my benefit?” A private trip arranged by him to Winter Park for 30 of my students and a personal visit to my summer school class later that summer and I was fulfilled.
Our Chicago Bears loving assistant pastor was ordained and I just had to take advantage of that opportunity to get him the “perfect” gift!
The “boos” and “what the hecks” started as soon as I entered the party filled with Flatlander Bear fans, smugly sporting a gigantic Green Bay Packer gift bag. When the recipient was forced to “model” the hand made gift, by me of course, the comments turned to laughter.
A stole made of Packer Green felt, with Green Bay Packer G’s for the letter “G,” footballs for the letter “o,” and bells for the letter “d” was revealed. Sayings carefully positioned on the garment such as “God loves all fans”, and one even concealed on the inside of the collar that said, “Da bears still suck!”
Moment of fame?
Prior to that bone-chilling Seahawks game against the Queenies, I reached out to the trainers and coaches in Seattle to give them a “top secret weapon” against the upcoming arctic weather and the Vikings, a mouth worn humidifier and heat exchanger Lung Plus unit. Knowing that these players most likely had no idea of the extremes they were about to encounter climate-wise, I sent them two units to try out gratis, with the arrangement that they would beat the Vikings in return.
At 2 p.m., the day before the “big game,” I received a text from one of the trainers stating that Russell Wilson truly liked the unit and they required twelve more!
At the time, we were at a Nordic ski expo in Ironwood, Michigan, how many hours away from Minneapolis where they needed to be delivered? That journey was a no-brainer again, as long as they agreed to beat the Vikings, which they did.
Apparently this was also newsworthy, but the approach taken was “disgruntled Packer fan sells illegal device to Seahawks.” Not! Had the Vikings bothered to look, they could have effortlessly purchased the same object from me; I would have quadrupled the price however!
Of course, the TV news reporter was a Vikings “fan” who made me dress from head-to-toe in green and gold, put my dog in her official Packer jersey, then cover it all up while telling the initial tale. He thought the little rubber Packer Troll my brother gave me was newsworthy too.
During “the twist,” my outfit was revealed and, boy, are there a lot of irrational Vikings’ fans out there… who woulda thunk you could get hate mail for that? “Deport her back to WI”, “put her in jail”, most of them didn’t seem to have much upstairs, if ya know what I mean. KFAN, a radio station in the Twin Cities, also picked up the story. I had no idea about this, until someone told me about it!
Men and Packers
Yes, I did sink that low, I dated someone for his Packer tickets. What good cheesehead woman wouldn’t take advantage of that? He was easy on the eyes and fun to be around, so it wasn’t all that much of a chore. When we broke up, he even remained Laambeaux’s “sugar daddy,” supplying her with all the official Green Bay Packer doggy goods a canine could fantasize about!
My dad was my chief Packer man! After my parents moved to Arizona, games were not as easily accessible. Supplying the “play-by-play” to him each quarter was the highlight of each game for me.
My dad suffered a stroke while caring for my mother who had Alzheimer’s. This left him unable to properly use his left side and he lost his visual perception.
I got a wild hair up my butt one day and decided to push him up a mountain in a half marathon at altitude in coordinated Green Bay Packer outfits! That day will be forever engrained in my memory as the best day of my life.
Marcellus, one of my mentees and a true Vikings Fan, was about nine years old or so, on that fateful day where the Packers won and advanced and the Queenies lost and were out. Emerging teary-eyed from watching the devastation on the 12-inch black and white TV in the tiny other room made him inconsolable (we watched on the big color TV).
His tears were quelled by creating a Vikings Gingerbread house, another recollection that sticks with me!
Melissa, another long time mentee, was easy to convert. Although I was a bit uncomfortable as the woman “flashed” her in the Packer bar in Door County one day during a game, and I’m still not sure what was under the coat!
Don’tcha know if you marry one of us you have to become one???!!! My wonderful hubby happily dons my Packer clothing on command, well, maybe it’s out of fear that I’ll make him wear the cheesehead hat and string bikini if he refuses the sweatshirt?
Apparently my sweet mother-in-law has a new calling too, creating Green Bay Packer stuff! My already impressive collection of stuff continues to grow in unique ways thanks to her thoughtfulness!
Ya know what the moral of this story is? Don’t mess with a die-hard Green Bay Packer chick, it won’t be pretty!